Monthly Archives: October 2012

Without a doubt the worst day so far…

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Decided to try cutting down their day naps to see if we could make sleeping at night more manageable. Started yesterday and last night was great for Champ, he went down at 7.30 and didn’t wake until 7. It was awesome.

So I did the same today, shortened the day sleep. Well when Buddy is tired he wants to be carried everywhere and is really wingey, but manageable. When Champ is tired he is totally off the walls. They hit about 4.30 this afternoon and they were TIRED. Champ basically fell to pieces. I had rocks (pebbles) thrown at my head, my front door has dents in it, there was screaming, pinching, punching, hitting and biting. I ended up carrying him in the ergo for an hour because he was too disregulated to cope with any correction, would just laugh and ramp it up.

He’s doing so well considering all he’s been though that sometimes I think I forget that he’s only just learning to take direction and it needs to be baby steps. He’s getting good at listening and responding when he’s calm, but he’s not ready to try to do that when he’s tired or emotional. We haven’t reached that level of trust and attachment yet, and it will take time. A heck of a lot more than two weeks.

Lesson learned, they can sleep as long as they want in the daytime!

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The Saga Of Sleep

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When my boys first came they were awesome at going to sleep. They were out of their brains exhausted so put them in a dark room and hold them still for five seconds and they were out like a light.

Now that they are well rested it is not such an easy story… take today/tonight for example

5.40am Champ wakes up wailing in his bed. I get up and bring him into my bed. His brother is already there.

5:50am Champ starts wiggling and waking his brother. I set him up in the lounge room with Fireman Sam, go back to bed.

6:05am He’s back, on the bed jumping on his brother.

6:10am We’re up.

10am Driving from the shops to the park, Buddy falls asleep. It is not Buddy’s nap time. Buddy should not be asleep. Get Buddy out of the car. Buddy still asleep. Buddy sleeps while I carry him, for 45 minutes. My children, once napping, do not wake.

12:30 pm It is now Champ and Buddy’s nap time. Champ goes down easily. Buddy is not tired, will not nap. I gets no time to myself and my uni assignments languish unfinished.

2:30 pm Singing and dancing in Champ’s room trying to wake him up. Takes fifteen minutes to get him to open his eyes and sit up. My children, once napping, do not wake

4:30pm Buddy is deliriously tired from having a short, early nap but is not allowed to sleep because it is only two and a half hours until his bed time.

6:30pm Take Buddy to bed. Buddy falls asleep in about 10 minutes. Quick. I’m hopeful that this might be an everyone asleep before eight kind of evening…

7:00pm Time for Champ to go to bed. Last half hour has been lovely wind down time, reading books, quality one-on-one time.

7:15pm Champ is in bed, doing what he should be doing. I ask if he want’s me to stay or go. He chooses go.

7:16pm The noises are getting louder from the room…

7:17pm Stick my head in whisper “Champ, quiet noises please, don’t wake your brother”

7:18pm Noises get louder…

7:19pm I move Buddy (asleep) into my room to try to protect him from the screaming tantrum I see building…

7:20pm Screaming tantrum commences…

7:23pm Moving Buddy did not protect him from the screams. Two screaming children now. Buddy, if woken within an hour of going to sleep, takes about 2 hours to settle again. I kid you not.

7:30pm Still two screaming children.

7:45pm No longer screaming, just desperate sobbing from both…

7:46pm Buddy is in the Ergo (baby carrier), I’m rubbing Champ’s back.

8:00pm Buddy half asleep, still with silent sobs. Champ has finally calmed down.

8:01pm I ask Champ if he would like me to stay or go. He says stay.

8:20pm Champ is finally asleep.

8:21pm Take a still upset Buddy (he really does not like to be woken up, I’m wondering if there is some trauma response in there) into my room, he is usually calmer in there, and will sleep even if I’m not there.

8:30pm I sneek out of my room, Buddy is asleep.

8:31pm No, he wasn’t…

8:35pm Buddy is lying on the couch next to me, fitfully sleeping. I’m trying to do some work.

9:30pm Buddy is finally in a proper deep sleep, I move him back to his bed.

9:31pm I can finally start my uni assignments… I’m tired now.

 

And this is what I can almost guarantee will happen tonight…

10:30pm Champ wakes from nightmare. Takes 10 minutes of cuddles to get back to sleep.

12:30am Buddy wakes. Will not sleep in his cot. Will not even be put down without hysterical screams. Comes into my bed.

5:40am Champ wakes…

 

Bucket man

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Little Buddy is obsessed with water. He loves it. Champ loves it too, but Buddy is in a class if his own. I can’t even leave water in the dog’s bowl because he tips it over his head. When I leave a bucket out he puts it on his head, I think in the hope that water will magically come pouring out…

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Did I say Little Buddy was easy going?

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Woops, I meant stubborn and single minded.

Now that he’s a bit more comfortable, he’s starting to get his tantrum on.

Champ, on the other hand, is actually calming down more and is very responsive to discipline (especially if you consider that this is probably the first time in his three years that he’s ever had any). I can see him becoming more relaxed as he learns that I’m in control and that I will look after him. I use a form of ‘time in’ (as opposed to time out) as discipline and I think it’s generally a very positive experience for the both of us.

 

One week today, and we’re all alive.

Small Steps, Giant Leaps…

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So they had a visit this afternoon, they have two a week, and got back home at 5pm. They are usually emotional and a bit disregulated afterwards, not to mention pumped full of junk food, so impulse control and listening are not their greatest strengths.

And yet, we were sitting down eating dinner and Champ jumped off the chair to go outside. I picked him up, put him back on the chair and told him that he needed to ask to get down, if he asked I would say yes and he could go outside and play with Lala (our dog, internet name courtesy of the kids). He started eating more food, I got distracted and moved on to other tasks. Once he was done eating he began his usual litany of “I want…”:

Champ: “I want ice-cream”

N: “No darling, no ice-cream”

Champ: “I want chocolate”

N: “No Champ, no chocolate”

Champ (looking at me thoughtfully): “I want ta get down”

N: “Sure Champ! You can get down, great asking! High Five!”

I’m so impressed.

Champ

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And the oldest shall be called Champ. Because he is one.

Champ is alternately headfirst, full on, nothing will stop me, go go go, and clingy and cuddly. He’s feeling the emotions of not being with mum the most. Sometimes he is so rude it make me mental. And others he is just the sweetest loveliest kid around.

I would guess that he has had no discipline in his life, so he is adjusting to being told what to do (and what not to do). There are so many times when he makes the right decision and he makes me proud.

They are both adjusting to structure and routine so well. They cope better and better each day.

Today, even though I’m not as tired as I was, I was a bit short of temper. I have to remember that while this is an emotional roller-coaster for them, it is also one for me to, and that impacts on my mood and patience.

Right now I just want to go back to my old life where I had 10 million hours all to myself and plenty of time to do everything I wanted. I.e. I want to be selfish again. But this too will pass. Remembering that God does not give us more than we can handle.