Monthly Archives: May 2013

The only constant is change.


Hold on to your seats, things are changing again.

Big sister (7) is moving in.

I’ll come up with a better name and fill you all in as soon as I stop deep breathing and running around like a headless chicken.




My boys are coming to spend Wednesday to Monday with me while Nan has to go away.

I can’t wait.

Even though it draws out the grieving.

Trying not to hold on to the stupid dream that Nan will decide it’s too hard and they should live with me.



Today is Friday, and will be the first day since the kids left that I won’t see them.

Struggling with the Ethics of foster care and how to determine who is the best to look after the kids.

They’ve been gone three days and already have nits and Buddy’s cold is getting chesty. I saw them get into a car with no car seats (didn’t hang around to see it drive off) and have contact with bio mum, who I”m fairly sure they aren’t supposed to see. They are also very very tired because Nan can’t get them to sleep (if you’ve been reading for a while you’ll know that bedtime has ALWAYS been an issues and you need to be super firm and on top of it to get them to sleep at night.).

But I’m not convinced that they are unsafe (with the exception of the car seat thing, which is why I was a chicken and drove off quickly so I wouldn’t see). And I am convinced that they are loved and fed.

I’m so biased by my own middle-class upbringing and beliefs about parenting. I’m trying to learn to look past the poverty and see the heart.



After stressing a bit because Nan didn’t answer my calls last week, I just had my second telephone conversation with her.

She’s letting me take the boys to a birthday party on Wednesday (the day after they go home), and I’ll pick them (and Nan) up each week for swimming lessons. She’d love me to have them on weekends sometimes so she can go out to the club etc.

Then we had a good bitch about community services.

I feel much better that it really isn’t goodbye tomorrow, and I’m really hopeful that we will be able to make this work 🙂