I think I’ve been taking the wrong approach with big sis. I’ve been encouraging her independence and life skills, thinking along the lines of being as equipped as possible for when she goes back to Nan. But I don’t think that’s the way to go. When I think about it, she’s been in care for close to a year and a half, and in that time has not lived with anyone who has loved her. So in essence she’s really still five, barely six, inside and I think some of the behaviours I’ve been seeing are her asking me to make her feel completely looked after. So I’m going to try babying her a little. Loving on the five year old inside and making her feel protected and safe. I’ll run her showers for her and sit and chat while she washes her hair. I’ll make her breakfast in the morning and help her put her clothes on. I’ll play uno (card games she loves) until my brain is leaking out my ears and stop worrying so much that she doesn’t have independent play just yet. Independence can wait a few months, I think I forgot about felt safety. I’ll let you know how I go.