Actually pompous refers to me apparently 😛
I’m about to send an email to the cw and her manager (after considerable weighing up of advice, I’ve decided to see if we can resolve it without involving anyone else, which would no doubt piss them off) and sent it first to a good friend for review.
The term ‘pompous know it all’ may have been used. It made me laugh. I’m so blessed to have friends who reign me in and aren’t afraid to be honest. Apparently constantly referring to gold standard, best practice and referencing policies and legislation is not quite in line with my aimed for approach of ‘hey, I think there’s been a misunderstanding, probably my fault, sorry, let’s work it out’. Not that I particularly believe there is a misunderstanding, and I really don’t think it’s my fault, but I have determined after much consultation that this is the most likely route to an easy resolution and I’m willing to eat a little shit to save my kids.
Re-write tomorrow and we’ll see what comes.
…like an educated woman who is not allowed to see her children.
In the time since I have heard that I’m not allowed to see the boys I have come up with a course of action.
1. I contacted my state’s foster care advocacy group to determine if I am indeed breaking the law by having contact with the children (as the cw is stating).
2. I contacted an acquaintance who knows the in’s and out’s of the system and who previously worked at CS. She has given me some very valuable and hope inspiring information and I’m having a meeting with her on the weekend to get her perspective on the whole matter.
3. I’ve contacted a fellow blogger (albeit a far more famous one than I, thanks Rebecca) who is in the know to ask for some literature to back my position on ongoing contact between bio and foster families. She has also suggested that she may ask her rather extensive community for any research they may be aware of.
4. On Monday I will write an email to the CW, cc’ing the manager, the social worker, the foster carer support worker and anyone else that my spies suggest, stating my position on the matter (e.g. I believe it is to the greatest benefit of both the boys and the family to have continued support from myself) and refuting any of the reasons they have suggested as to why it is not appropriate.
5. At the end of the email I will request a written response stating their position on the matter with a full explanation as to the reasons they have come to said position.
6. If they do not come back with a satisfactory response I will take it up with Managers further up the line. I am willing to go to the Ombudsman and the Children’s Guardian if necessary.
DON”T MESS WITH MY KIDS.
I’ve just heard on the grapevine that community services has had a meeting and that they have decided that I’m not allowed to have any more contact with the boys. Fuck them and everyone who works there, I will fight this with every breath I have.
As I mentioned previously community services has expressed reticence at my continued involvement in Champ and Buddy’s lives. Apparently offering to help Nan, and having her take me up on that, suggests that Nan isn’t coping. So I’m currently taking advantage of having a school aged child and spending my couple of free hours a day immersing myself in reading every policy, report, research and legislative document related to children in care in my state. I’m looking at rights of carers, rights of children, rights of birth families, best practice, corporate directions, overall aims, policies on contact, policies on restoration, policies on family support, policies on Indigenous children, literature reviews, research papers and every little thing in-between. At the end of this I plan on knowing how this messed up piece of crap system works better than the staff at community services themselves.
You had better believe that if they try to claim that I’m not allowed to support the birth family post-restoration I will fight them to the death.
My boys are coming to spend Wednesday to Monday with me while Nan has to go away.
I can’t wait.
Even though it draws out the grieving.
Trying not to hold on to the stupid dream that Nan will decide it’s too hard and they should live with me.
Today is Friday, and will be the first day since the kids left that I won’t see them.
Struggling with the Ethics of foster care and how to determine who is the best to look after the kids.
They’ve been gone three days and already have nits and Buddy’s cold is getting chesty. I saw them get into a car with no car seats (didn’t hang around to see it drive off) and have contact with bio mum, who I”m fairly sure they aren’t supposed to see. They are also very very tired because Nan can’t get them to sleep (if you’ve been reading for a while you’ll know that bedtime has ALWAYS been an issues and you need to be super firm and on top of it to get them to sleep at night.).
But I’m not convinced that they are unsafe (with the exception of the car seat thing, which is why I was a chicken and drove off quickly so I wouldn’t see). And I am convinced that they are loved and fed.
I’m so biased by my own middle-class upbringing and beliefs about parenting. I’m trying to learn to look past the poverty and see the heart.
After stressing a bit because Nan didn’t answer my calls last week, I just had my second telephone conversation with her.
She’s letting me take the boys to a birthday party on Wednesday (the day after they go home), and I’ll pick them (and Nan) up each week for swimming lessons. She’d love me to have them on weekends sometimes so she can go out to the club etc.
Then we had a good bitch about community services.
I feel much better that it really isn’t goodbye tomorrow, and I’m really hopeful that we will be able to make this work 🙂