They just asked me to take baby brother…
So ever since Buddy arrived I have been trying to eliminate his annoying method of telling me he has a pooey nappy. Which is to scoop some out and come show it to me like a fascinating offering. He has improved and will mostly tell me “mum, poo” (well, actually, he’ll say “Mum, shit”…) and pat his bum, but we still have the occasional setback. (For the record if I was not a perfect parent I probably would have have totally lost it at him once or twice, yelled, carried on a treat and generally behaved in an unhelpful counter-productive completely non-therapeutic way. Fortunately I am a perfect parent and I would never do such a thing) Anyway, this morning I was lying awake in bed, Champ was watching tv (I let him watch between 6am and 7am, because I’m really not a morning person, and he really is) and Buddy was switching between lying with me and
annoying his brother watching tv too. I could hear him walking down the hallway and looked up to see him walking backwards past my doorway very slowly. Rather odd I thought, but he’s almost two, they are always trying new things and occasionally those things don’t involve destruction of property, so I let it be. A minute or two later he appears by my bed with a small sticker in one hand which he proceeds to show me. “Sticker!” he says. I agree that it is indeed a sticker and we watch it with great fascination (ok, my fascination may have been slightly faked…). Repeatedly he shows it to me, holding it in his little hand, offering it to me. I take it, give it back, we stick it, unstick it. Finally he holds the sticker up in his right hand offering it to me, looks me in the eye, and slowly raises up his left hand in the same offering gesture… a left hand chock full of poo.
We’re ending out our year here in the oaoh household with a flurry of atrocious behaviour. No doubt brought about by Christmas, missed visits, approaching the three month mark, disrupted routines (all our usual weekly activities shut down over the summer holidays), and an overnight stay by baby brother.
Champ in particular is Not Coping. Mainly evidenced by hyperactivity and deliberate defiance. Nothing that you wouldn’t normally see in a three year old, except that with Champ this last week or two it has been every waking minute of the day. It’s tiring. Buddy has turned into mr destructo man and has been trying out a bit of his own deliberate defiance. I think most of Buddy’s is typical terrible two’s, simply amplified a little due to lack of parenting groundwork in his first year and a half. Needless to say we’ve had our share of tantrums and screaming and the seemingly never-ending hyperactivity, today being one of the worse days.
I’m choosing to believe that they are just getting it out of their system, one final push, before they begin the new year with outstanding calmness, focus and general loveliness.
Happy new year everyone 🙂
Cute. That’s all I’ve got to say. Really, really cute.
Well Christmas is over for another year. It was fun and fairly low key, with no more disregulation from the boys than I might normally see. I made the decision not to travel the 13 hours or so to see my family and instead stayed at home and had a Christmas dinner with several of my close friends who had also made the same decision. The boys got lots of presents, lovely appropriate ones from their bios, and lots of generosity from my family too (so much so that when I said we were going to talk to Nanny tonight on Skype, Champ immediately asked “presents?”).
As a present to myself I thought it would be helpful to list the ‘gifts’ that the kids have given me over the last two months:
– Champ almost never swears any more
– Buddy doesn’t bite or pinch any more.
– Both boys will come to me for resolution of a dispute rather than trying to hurt the other
– I can often leave the bedroom at night with Champ still awake and he will stay in bed (!!!) and fall asleep.
– Both boys sleep the whole night in their own beds and mostly go back to sleep easily if they wake in the night.
– Champ now understands the concept of waiting and can cope with the idea that something will happen later not right now (mostly…)
– Champ is toilet trained (yay!).
– I can tell Champ ‘no’ and he will often accept it without an epic meltdown.
– Both boys happily drink water and no longer ask for cordial, juice or chocolate milk.
– I can give the boys the occasional treat of a lolly or chocolate and it doesn’t cause meltdowns.
– I can even get them to eat vegetables.
– Champ is, slowly, starting to become better at coming when I ask him to, not running away.
– I can spend the whole day at home with them without banging my head against a wall…(so long as it’s not everyday!)
– Champ can eat without covering his clothes in food. Buddy… well, we’ll get there.
– They have both become much, much better at calm playing (as opposed to active playing, such as riding bikes or kicking balls, which they are great at). There is still a long way to go, but they are really getting there.
– Champ’s memory for new words is beginning to improve and he is slowly learning to count.
– Buddy’s language is taking off. The other morning when I was still in bed he appeared in my doorway and demanded “Mummy! Brepbast (Breakfast)!”
There are many more things that they have achieved that would take forever to list. I spend so much time focusing on the areas that need improvement (of which of course there are still many) that I often forget to take a step back and see the bigger picture. They are doing well. To the outsider they seem like normal, if slightly active, kids. It’s good. And I love them.
Just so you all know, we are doing better. I had a little heart to heart with my bestie, cried some and admitted I wasn’t doing a great job at the moment. Confession is good for the soul I think because it helped me get my head back in the right place and find the love again. And so despite the fact I have sinusitis and Champ is sick, meaning we have been stuck at home for two days, I have managed to be patient and generally a nice mum to be around 🙂
Meanwhile I took photos of the boys to give as Christmas presents to their siblings, Mum and Nan. They are just so cute I could eat them both up. Wish I could show you…
I’m sorry I’ve been so slack at putting up updates, I’m doing my Masters in Social Work full time at the moment, as well as looking after the boys, so I’m a little bit pressed for time over here.
The good news is that the countdown to the end of uni for the year is on. I finished three major assignments last week and and two more to go that are due on Friday. Then I am done!!
Woo Hoo! I feel like I will finally be able to give the boys the attention that they deserve, mainly by giving myself the self-care that I need when they are asleep so I can be the parent that I want to be when they are awake.
Meanwhile I’m feeling very blessed because some friends of mine just paid a cleaner to come and clean my house. Ahhhh…..