Category Archives: Single parenting

Holidays

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“We’re going to see the beach and say hi to a shark!”

Champ sure is excited about going away and has been asking every day if it’s time to go on holidays yet. It will be the first time they’ve seen a city, a beach, been on a train, gone to a zoo… it’s going to blow their minds.

Now I just have to survive 1200km in a car with just me and a two and three year old…

No news is…

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…good news?

I haven’t heard anything and biomum’s facebook says nothing about court. I’ll ring on Monday to see if I can find out more.

Buddy’s blisters are almost dried out, so we’ll be able to go back into the world tomorrow or the next day. Hooray.

No sign’s that Champ has come down with it, so here’s hoping we’re in the clear.

My friend hasn’t had her baby yet and I’ve been able to sort out friends to look after the boys  when the call comes.

I was only woken up once last night, and the kids slept until 6:45am.

Things are just better.

Yay.

A word of encouragement

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I thought I would write a note to all the new foster parents out there, especially the single ones, and also to myself with Prince Charming arriving any day, week, or month now.

When the boys first came it was hard. Very hard. Very very very very hard. Without a doubt the hardest thing I have ever done. I was living minute to minute, gasping for breath. I genuinely wondered if I had truly given every aspect of my life up. I didn’t consider quitting, I wouldn’t allow myself to, but I did wonder if I would ever again feel enjoyment in living life. I’m not kidding. It was hard.

BUT.

It got better. Much better. We found our place with each other, the boys and I. I started breathing again. I found joy.

It gets better.

It gets better.

Repeat after me: It gets better.

Switching up bedtime routines again…

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Trying new bedtime routines out to be ready for the arrival of Prince Charming (coming to us in an unknown number of days or weeks…). Attempting to find a way to get Champ to bed without having to tell him off for anything, aka setting him up to succeed. Tonight was night three of letting him play while Buddy goes to sleep (so I don’t have to tell him to lie down and be quiet, over and over and over again), reading to him in the loungeroom and having our cuddles out there (so I don’t have to shush him and we can have a little chat), and putting him straight to bed and leaving to room (so he feels in control and has the choice to earn a sticker by staying in bed and going to sleep). It’s a pretty big boy way of doing things, and he wasn’t ready for it before, but I think he is now. And tonight was a total success. Hooray! I know that tomorrow may be a different story, but I’ll celebrate my successes when I get them 🙂

Meanwhile I’m back to rocking Buddy to sleep. I’ll take my cuddles while I can get them and leave it at that. Now all I need to do is get Prince Charming to go to sleep at 6.30 without needing a drawn out routine. Good thing he’s still a baby!

This is actually probably quite a boring post, doubt many of you are interested in the minutiae of my children’s bedtime routines, sorry bout that 😛

Hallelujah!

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So I do not know what happened this afternoon, but when they came back from their visit they were both completely and utterly hyper. I have never seen them this bad before, it was through the roof. They were besides themselves and I really think they were actually completely freaked out. Neither of them could sit still for a second. I tried to be as calming as I possibly could. I whispered everything, had them play separately (which is hard when they both desperately needed my company but where ramping each other up!), I spoon fed them dinner (they didn’t have enough focus to get even one bite in their mouth), sat and read them their favourite books in the quietest whisper. Buddy eventually got there, and was able to be his normal self. Champ, no way. When we had said our prayers and it was time to go to bed he leaped up and started screaming and running around in circles, faster and faster, hyperventilating. I pick him held him tight and whispered “it’s ok, you’re safe, you’re at home with Mummy” over and over. He had this hiccupy, crying, laughing, hyperventilating thing going on and those pupils were as wide as could possibly be. When he had calmed a little (but was still not regulated) I put him in bed. I knew he wasn’t calm enough but Buddy was screaming, he doesn’t like it if Champ gets the cuddles and he has to stay in bed and I needed to attend to him. As I put Champ down I suddenly had a brilliant idea. Champ has a thick red blanket that he really likes to curl up under (keep in mind that it’s summer, a heat wave, and outside is 44 degrees (that 110 degrees for my lovely American friends)), so I took his blanket, lay him on it and wrapped (swaddled) him like a baby. Well he wasn’t too sure the first time, but I did it a second and it was like I had found the switch. THE switch. The one that calms him down and brings him back to regulation. In an instant. It was amazing. AMAZING I tell you. He lay on his bed wrapped tight as could be in his blanket completely calm, still and happy until Buddy had fallen asleep. Then he sat up, asked if he could have his sticker (he gets one if he lies quietly), put it on his chart, had a snuggle with me, a quick back massage and fell asleep. HALLELUJAH!!!!