I still haven’t come up with a better blog name, oh well.
So far Big Sister is settling in fabulously. Of course, a week and a half in we’re no doubt still in the honeymoon phase, but so far she is polite and lovely, with enough cheek to know that she’s got a bit of firecracker in there somewhere. She’s coming out of her shell and is now seeking affection and enjoying cuddles and attention. We’ve had one or two meltdowns, but nothing serious, and mostly can be put down to the emotions of moving to a whole new world for the third or forth time since she’s been in care (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). Considering the totally crap last year and a half she has had she is remarkably well adjusted. Probably the most noticeable area that needs work (aside from educationally, but she’s really starting to catch up on) is her ability to do imaginative play. I’ve got to have the only seven year old in the world who chucks a wobbly because I say she’s not allowed to do maths, she needs to go and play with her dolls…
As I mentioned previously community services has expressed reticence at my continued involvement in Champ and Buddy’s lives. Apparently offering to help Nan, and having her take me up on that, suggests that Nan isn’t coping. So I’m currently taking advantage of having a school aged child and spending my couple of free hours a day immersing myself in reading every policy, report, research and legislative document related to children in care in my state. I’m looking at rights of carers, rights of children, rights of birth families, best practice, corporate directions, overall aims, policies on contact, policies on restoration, policies on family support, policies on Indigenous children, literature reviews, research papers and every little thing in-between. At the end of this I plan on knowing how this messed up piece of crap system works better than the staff at community services themselves.
You had better believe that if they try to claim that I’m not allowed to support the birth family post-restoration I will fight them to the death.
Sorry about the language. I’m having a bad day!
They are so damn narrow minded!
I’ve been keeping in contact with Nan and helping out here and there as she adjust to the huge task of looking after two small and very active children. This is even more important because Nan isn’t allowed to leave the kids with pretty much anyone in her network of support (her daughters etc).
Nan and I were being on the discrete side of things, but cs found out that she has my number and we talk to each other.
I quote “If she’s asking for help it’s a sign that she is not coping”
If she’s asking for help it’s a sign that she knows her limitations and is utilising all the resources available to her to give herself the best chance of succeeding. It’s not like she’s dropping the kids off to me and going on a bender. I’ve looked after the kids twice. Once while she did the groceries, and once after swimming lessons so she could catch up on housework.
I may have white lied and said I hadn’t really helped at all. CW then said it was about my safety, especially if the kids had to come back to me. I hate hate hate that I have zero control in this situation. If I didn’t have big sister I would be tempted to tell them fully the amount of contact I’m having with them and if they have a problem that I’m happy to step down as a carer. That way I would just be a family friend and cs wouldn’t be allowed to have a say in what contact I had. And if the kids came back into care I could just take them as a kinship placement. It kills me that there is no thinking outside the box.
I probably shouldn’t tell them that I let big sister talk to her mum on the phone…
Hold on to your seats, things are changing again.
Big sister (7) is moving in.
I’ll come up with a better name and fill you all in as soon as I stop deep breathing and running around like a headless chicken.
My boys are coming to spend Wednesday to Monday with me while Nan has to go away.
I can’t wait.
Even though it draws out the grieving.
Trying not to hold on to the stupid dream that Nan will decide it’s too hard and they should live with me.
Had two things I really had to do today.
I did them both.
Is it possible I’m starting to be a functioning human being again?
That said, the only thing I’ve eaten today is chocolate brownie…